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Safe, Stable, Nurturing Relationships

Helping all children develop healthy brains by being a safe, stable, nurturing adult mitigates stress so it does not become toxic and helps children grow to become emotionally and physically healthy adults.

It is important to understand that protecting children does not mean preventing children from experiencing stress. Use Behavior Checker to solve everyday behavior problems by teaching a child how to cope with negative emotions, how to learn skills to overcome school challenges, how to be resilient in adverse situations, how to deal with frustration without violence, how to delay gratification and compromise…that’s what makes a person’s relationship with a child safe, stable and nurturing. This is how we prevent stress from becoming toxic stress. 

  • The adult must protect the child and help the child know that the adult will do anything to prevent harm. That protection can be in the form of intervening on the child’s behalf by taking the child out of a volatile situation. “How about we go for a walk. Mom needs some space right now.” It can also be in the form of helping a parent or caretaker learn new parenting strategies. The bottom line is to protect the child from those brain altering adverse experiences. 

  • The adult needs to be supportive with an “I’m-here-for-you” message. Children need an adult they can depend on to help them solve problems, a person from whom they can safely ask for that help. And support doesn’t mean for the adult to take over the problem and solve it for the child. The best support requires guiding the child to solve the problem.

  • Now, what kind of protection and emotional nourishment does this adult need to provide? Above all, this adult needs to care. This adult needs to make that loving emotional connection that all children need. This adult must convey the message: “I care about you and want what’s best for you.” That is the constant message all children need.

The authors and Raised with Love and Limits Foundation disclaim responsibility for any harmful consequences, loss, injury or damage associated with the use and application of information or advice contained in these prescriptions and on this website. These protocols are clinical guidelines that must be used in conjunction with critical thinking and critical judgment.